The other day, I was talking to one of my patients, a 45-year-old man, who told me that he felt overwhelmed by the amount of things he had to deal with and that he couldn't handle it anymore. I asked him what he meant, and he told me that he was unable to balance his career with housework and family, that the many things he had to do left him no time for himself, and therefore he feels ineffective and depressed. At the same time, being a devoted reader of my articles, he knows how important it is to lead a healthy lifestyle, eat right, exercise… But how to succeed in all this when you don’t have a single free minute left?
I told him not to worry and reassured him that I had the same feeling before, so I fully understand how he feels. I am sure that, like my patient, many of you have gone through such situations. Likewise, I found the right solution for myself and intend to share this experience with you, but first of all I would like to clarify where this feeling of inability to manage time comes from.
The on-line world, in which we spend more and more time, presents many examples of successful, productive people. They do an excellent job, maintain order in the house, regularly devote time to loved ones and do not forget about themselves. Seeing others delicately balance between professional and personal lives can make us feel useless and helpless.
When I felt overwhelmed with everyday activities that left me no time to take care of myself, I tried a new approach: Habit Stacking.
This is a simple mental trick that helps turn things into a real quest and easily complete it. I didn't come up with this method, but it turned out to be very effective, and since it worked for me, I thought you might try it too.
The process of making a stack of habits is simple: you need to write down all the tasks that you already regularly do, such as walking your dog or driving to work, and add self-care techniques to them.
How to start building a stack of habits?
All you have to do is add a new habit to another existing one that has already formed over time.
- To get started, choose a new habit. It can be absolutely anyone. Ask yourself what you would like to work on. Perhaps there is some activity for which you do not always have enough time, but which makes you feel better.
The main thing is to add as many details as possible. Let's say you want to lead a more athletic lifestyle. Don't add the abstract word "workout" to your to-do list. It is better to fix it more specifically, for example, “do 10 crunches in the bedroom”. And then attach this activity to another daily habit, say, make time for such a small workout before breakfast, or "do 15 push-ups after brushing your teeth." This connection helps to maintain new habits, and gradually they become a natural part of life.
- Make a list of daily habits. Look at your routine and highlight what you automatically do every day. For example, you make your bed every day, make coffee, or take the subway to work.
Put it all down on paper. This way you become aware of your capabilities and can choose tasks that are suitable for adding new habits to them. For example, meditate for a minute while coffee is being brewed; performing several yoga poses immediately after changing clothes after work; drink a glass of water before and after your daily walk, etc.
- Take your time and don't overload yourself. Imagine that you have several habits that you want to start at once, such as switching to a healthy diet and stretching. No need to combine both at once or complicate your day by combining them with other things. Start with a healthy diet, and when this habit takes root and becomes part of your life, move on to stretching.
- Don't forget that stacking habits is not multitasking. You shouldn't do two things at the same time. Instead, use the completion of one task as a signal that it's time to move on to another.
- Track your progress. It's important to make it a habit to measure your progress as you move towards your goals. You can write down your progress or put a tick in a notebook – it will cheer you up.
This method has helped me a lot to better organize my time and add more useful and healthy habits to my daily routine. I admit it took some time, but I'm happy with the result. I encourage you to try this too.