These days I had a strange feeling, a more unusual emotional state, which I do not even think I can describe, but I will try. It was a mixture of thoughtfulness, uncertainty and anxiety. My head was full of various thoughts, questions about existence in general, about the role I play in society, but also about my own life, about how satisfied I am with what I am and what I am doing at the moment. A bit strange, don’t you think?
After a few days, I tried to analyze this condition. I think it could be due to fatigue or it could be the result of the endless pandemic.
At the same time, I remembered the expression "midlife crisis." I've heard about this before, but didn't pay attention to it. However, now it got me thinking. How is this crisis manifested? Is this something real or a myth?
Beware of middle age! You will face sudden and destructive changes. By the age of 50, your productivity, creativity, and adaptability begin to decline, as does your level of happiness. Your best years are behind you. Of course, work, marriage and unfulfilled hopes are at stake.
Everything that you read above is not true! Indeed, middle age is a difficult and vulnerable time. But everything most people know about midlife crisisis based on myths and stereotypes. In fact, everything is much simpler and harmless.
In fact, midlife is a transitional period. For most people, this transition is gradual, natural, manageable, and healthy, albeit unpleasant.
Of course, we understand that a person's views on himself are determined by many external factors:
- the economic environment,
- status in society,
- the general characteristics of the era in which he lives.
If society is dominated by the idea that 45 years is the last trait for hopes, then, of course, every individual will be inclined to see depressive shades in this number. At the same time, large masses of people calmly admit that they are not young, but this fact does not bother them at all. Such people see themselves very "juiced", stand confidently on their feet and understand that their life has become stable and safe, but there is a lot of room for something new in it.
When it comes to the “crisis of middle age”, many of my patients are worried about the aging process.
It is important to note that the effects of aging do not come on suddenly or abruptly. It happens slowly and gradually. Once, a colleague of mine told me: “When I was about 40 years old, I noticed that I felt anxiety and dissatisfaction, as if neither my life nor my achievements were worthless. This feeling grew gradually, but steadily. By the time I was 45, I was seriously depressed. Then, when I was about 50, my dissatisfaction began to recede. Now that I am 58, this is fortunately completely in the past. "
I will agree with the specialists who say that it is not really a crisis of middle age, but I cannot deny the fact that there is still a decline in this period of life.
So what is the essence of this recession? This seems to be the result of natural changes in our priorities and values. We begin to grow up at the age of 20-30, when we are full of ambition and goals, we strive to grow in our careers and accumulate social capital. At a more mature age, our priorities shift from ambition to deepening connections with people and to activities that are most important to us. Meanwhile, we often experience a turning point when the old values no longer bring the expected satisfaction, and the new ones have not yet taken root. As we adapt to age and the changes in our lives, values and priorities take on a different form and become part of new experiences.
In conclusion, let me share with you some thoughts. Maybe this will help you form your own opinion about middle age.
I do not believe that such a crisis exists.
First, when is this age? When you are 30, 40 or maybe 60? Every person at different ages feels differently. Secondly, a person can feel happy or unhappy at different times in his life. But what is happiness really? It is something relative. It is natural that at certain times you feel anxious or ask questions about your life. It forces you to analyze and make some changes. And after all, what's wrong with middle age? You live a fulfilling life, you have achieved something at work, your children are growing, you are healthy and you have more resources than when you were a student. You are calm and you can sleep as much as you like. Every age is beautiful, no matter how trite it may sound.
Live every moment to the fullest!