I want to give a warmful
Thank You to all of those who took their time to complete the survey I sent. I received many interesting answers, which I am going to cover in the following articles.
The topic I want to discuss with you today is the one of addictions, which I believe are wrongfully portrayed in the popular conception. You might think that one can only be dependent on cigarettes, food, alcohol or hard drugs, but addiction is much more than that. Missing someone dear can be a form of dependency, as well as always waiting for someone else’s approval or acknowledgement.
But what turns a habit into an addiction? Basically, it’s a thought or an action you put (too) much effort in, and it all sums up to how much it interferes with everything else in your life. For instance, if you can’t go on with your daily activities because this thought or habit eats away at all your focus, it means it has become an addiction.
Now from my own experience and from all the long talks I’ve had with different people ever since I was a child (remember the American soldiers on the Vietnamese war ground who used to consume different substances just so they could resist at least one more day), addictions occur in moments of weakness.
I’m sure it sounds like common sense, but let me give you a concrete example: 85% of the people who smoke have low self-esteem. When I first heard about it, I started running through my mind all the people I knew who smoked. The truth is, none of those I reminisced was satisfied with themselves. And I know pretty successful business owners or managers who still light cigarette after cigarette.
Stress, not having the schedule you’d like or not making time for the things that really matter to you, and self-deception are among the most common factors that lead you to picking up a bad habit. Why? Because it’s the quickest replacement for your missing piece.
A while back I was talking to a client who told me he’d want to go outside to have a cigarette. He tried to excuse himself saying that he’s not a regular smoker, just feels the need for one from time to time. As we were talking, he said it himself that he feels he’s done something wrong, he feels a need to “punish” himself for not doing better. And if only this was a one-time tale to hear!
Long story short, the best way to overcome addictions is to find out what feeling or longing they replace. Pay attention to what you’ve been thinking about right before lighting a cigarette or pouring a glass of wine. Do that one time, two times, right until you get to the middle ground of all thoughts. What’s that worry in the back of your mind that incites you to harm yourself? What should be different in your life and yourself for you to stop asking for other people’s acknowledgement?
Think of all these things, and find out the real cause of your problem. It’s not a short road, but it’s the only sure way to get you rid of them once and for all.
Your health is in your hands!